Sadly, “fiesta” is not number one and “siesta” appears to be somewhat lower than number 2…
Anyway, I’ve got a list of things to do over the course of 2011. Some seem like a good idea, some seem like a great idea, and one or two seem like terrible, terrible, no good, very bad ideas. I figured I’d share.
1. Get Byzantine Logic finished. Odds of that actually happening? I dunno. I just keep back-burnering it. But I like the series and I’m still fascinated by the Byzantine Empire and its religious shenanigoats.[1]
2. Actually do a full re-write on Second Chances. It’s my occasionally mentioned book that’s been sitting around gathering dust since I made the mistake of attempting to write it for a specifically Christian audience. I still love the characters and the basic set up, but it was fatally flawed due to the fact that the people who are proper people for a Christian novel are not the proper people for a story about real life. The weird thing is that I knew it at the time, but dangit, I knew I had to write it in a specific way.
I was a sheltered, wannabe super-duper pious 20 year-old when I conceived of Second Chances. I finished the original version when I was a slightly-less-sheltered but still wannabe super-duper pious 24 year-old. But even at that I was at least as experienced in life as the non-Christian characters in my book and far more rough around the edges. I knew that. I also knew that even though the book was driving in that direction, the climactic point where the character realizes, “Duh, Jesus!,” and prays the Sinner’s Prayer[2] felt tacked-on and obligatory. It’s actually quite fascinating, when I think about it, since the conversion came about for all the wrong reasons.[3]
One of the things that consistently bugged me about the story, too, was that I could not fully explore the life of one of the characters. I created Emma as this person who had been beaten down throughout her life and was afraid but also strong. She had done things that she wasn’t supposed to do according to the standards of her community in order to survive. So when she comes in to the story she is a pariah and an outcast who has simply learned to accept it.
I had cast her, however, as the character whose strength through suffering was supposed to lead the main character to salvation. She was to be a woman of unassailable faith and, through that, she was to demonstrate the…um…undying love of Jesus, I guess. There was always another character underneath, however. A meta-Emma, if you will. I could see her. I could feel her struggling to get out. But I couldn’t allow myself to let that happen. So instead of voicing actual thoughts about life and religion she was often reduced to standing on the sidelines, mouthing boring platitudes.
Of course there’s also the bit where I’m a much better writer now than I was then. I’ve spent the last decade finding my voice. I’ve also learned that a lot of the things I thought I could write about are things that I can only now approach with honesty and empathy.
The original version of the book was, despite its limitations, pretty good. I think it represented an important leap in my development as a writer. But it also had a lot of the issues that plagued me. For one, I used to really want to get to the important stuff, so I shortchanged the initial setup. I now appreciate the importance of taking my time and following the path. For another, the idea of having a character set up precisely to be a cipher for an idea is inexcusable to me now.
3. I’m going to take a trip. I’m planning to swing through Vicksburg on my way to Mobile in order to see the USS Alabama. After that I’ll return to Dallas via NOLA.
4. I’d also like to go back to Austin and perhaps spend some time out in the Hill Country. It occurs to me that this might also be the sort of the Daisy would enjoy…
5. I want to start two consistent storytelling events in the Metroplex. I’m already in discussion with various parties for two or three different ideas and I have a couple others, so I think this will be readily achieved.
And that’s the end of the good ideas.
As far as bad ideas go…
1. I’m thinking of hitting up an Alpha Course. This is one of those evangelism things that was just hitting its stride and becoming, like, super popular when I was on my way out of Christianity. I’m thinking of going to one, then blogging about my experiences dealing with people offering vapid, question-begging routes to true happiness and fulfillment through a god I once believed in.
2. Similarly, I’m thinking of hitting up some sort of apologetics book. I don’t want, so much, to answer its claims, but attempt to suss out the mental gymnastics behind it and the willful blind spots Christian evangelists must create in order to attempt to “save” the world.
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Meanwhile, I spent my Wednesday trying to figure out if Scalzi’s Daisy was the same as my Daisy. I finally found out that, no, no she’s not. According to Scalzi’s first post about his Daisy she’s a Labrador/Mastiff combo. I’m guessing American Mastiff, judging by the coat.
I even went so far as to wander through Scalzi’s Flickr Photostream. It quickly became obvious that, when given a proper scale, his Daisy is much larger than mine. My Daisy is 40 lbs and either a large small or a small medium. Most full-grown labs are half again the size of Daisy and Mastiffs are, like, three times the size.
I have also noticed that Daisy, from the right angle, tends to look kind of like a Lab. But Labs tend to have longer snouts and heads that appear narrower proportionally. So the combination of Lab with the blunt Mastiff snout totally gives an almost pitch-perfect Carolina Dog look. Still, the devil’s in the details.
The biggest detail, though, is the ears. Light coated Mastiffs seem to tend to have darker ears, exactly like Scalzi’s Daisy, whereas my Daisy has ears that are the same color as the rest of her. But the big giveaway, in retrospect, is also the most obvious.
Labs have floppy ears. Mastiffs have floppy ears. Scalzi’s Daisy has floppy ears. My Daisy’s ears point straight up pretty much at all times. When they’re not pointed up they don’t flop down, but fold back like a bird tucking its wings in. That seems to be a common theme of Carolina Dogs. Even the ones that appear to have floppy ears actually appear to just have really big ears that kinda fold in half even though they’re sticking straight up.
This is what I’m talking about:
Also, those are Daisy’s two favorite toys. She’s figured out how to combine their powers in to one super toy. It amuses me to no end.
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[1]So there was a random episode of This Simpsons where the family was going to the movies. One of the movies on the marquee (and, possibly, the movie Homer wanted to see, I don’t recall) was called Shenanigoats. I got in to the habit of referring to random hanging out with Big A as “shenanigoats” after “shenanigans” started to seem, y’know, mundane. The auto-correct on my iPhone now recognizes “shenanigoats” as a word, which amuses me to no end.
[2]I went with the fade to black on that one, actually. Slacktivst explained the concept perfectly here. There’s also the simple matter that I was aware of the fact that I was incapable of articulating such a moment at the time. Chances are I will never be capable of articulating such a moment. One of the most important lessons as an artist isn’t just in figuring out what you can do, but also realizing that which you can’t do.
[3] That, as it turns out, was an unintentionally honest depiction of salvation. People rarely, if ever, convert to a new religion because they’ve been argued in to it by evangelists. They do it to fit in, or because they’re afraid of negative consequences, or because they know they need a drastic change in their life but can’t figure out how to make it happen. This is the stock in trade of the evangelist, trading on personal conversion stories: realize how bad things are, beg for help, sing “Amazing Grace,” live happily ever after.
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