Announcing the Most Important Tool Ever Created for the Internet

Do you ever find yourself in an internet duel to the death and thinking to yourself, “You know, I really want to compare this person to Hitler, but I really don’t think that’s totally apt?”  Have you then found yourself trying to determine whether Josef Stalin or Pol Pot were the appropriate alternatives, only to realize that everyone, everywhere decides to go with Stalin and Pol Pot when Hitler just won’t do?

What can you do in a situation like that?  You can’t just give up, as that would be tantamount to letting one of the great dictators off scot-free on the question of whether Babylon 5 or Deep Space Nine was the better space-station-based-science-fiction-serialized-television-program.  And everyone knows that Hitler didn’t have an opinion on either one of those, anyway.  He was more of a Battlestar Galactica 1980 guy.

Good news, everyone, I’ve solved your conundrum.

Introducing Hitler Alternatives, the only Tumblr site (that I’m aware of) dedicated to answering the vexing question, “Who can I compare this troll to if not Hitler?”

Now go forth and argue with confidence.  If you don’t find the current crop of malcontents and ne’er-do-wells to your satisfaction, don’t worry.  I’ll be expanding Hitler Alternatives as time goes on and I add more names to my little historical scum tracker I like to call the Access Database of Evil.

And you’re welcome, internet.

Comments

[GailVortex]

Wow.

Now that I know such a thing exists, I don't know how I conducted life on the internet without it.

[The Everlasting Dave]

Yeah. You actually filled a need on the internet without resorting to tween trends or free porn. I'm legitimately amusimpressed.

[Michael Mock]

Brilliance! Sheer genius, I say! You, sir, are truly an inspiration to us all.

[Geds]

GailVortex: Quite frankly, I have no idea how you did it, either...

Dave: Find a gap, fill it, make sure it's not a cheap sex joke. That's what I always say.

MM: So...you're saying it's a good thing I went with that instead of my A-Ha Lyric of the Day idea?

[jessa]

I know many people who will enjoy this. (Hint: My entire college.)

[Geds]

Sweet. This puppy might just go somewhere.

[Semperfiona]

That? Is officially awesome.

[Account Deleted]

Good on you...Sadam Hussein is rated much too highly, however...about a 2 may be more accurate...his overloard Bush the first may rate the same with the son higher.

[Geds]

Um, I consider "attempted genocide against the Kurds" and "indiscriminate use of weapons of mass destruction, even on his own people," a bad thing. Like, a super bad thing. As far as I'm concerned, Hussein earned his stripes during the Iran-Iraq war.

And according to my system, Gee Dubs is about a 0 on the Hitler scale. HW Bush is about a negative-1. Calling someone a Fascist isn't the same as that person being a Fascist. Just ask Barack Obama how much he measures up to all of his supposedly IslamofascistcommunistantiAmerican policies. Calling the dude Chairman Mao does not make him Chairman Mao.